Community Grief and Gratitude Ritual

A space to honor and express both personal and collective grief and love. To offer what is sacred back to the holy, held in beauty and community.

WHY WE GATHER

These are times marked with grief. There is so much loss and sorrow in the personal and collective areas of our lives. It is too much for one body to hold. We are not in this alone.

Grief is a given in this life, a natural part of the human experience, meant to be shared with others, not in isolation. Whether you are feeling grief, shame, rage, numbness, fear, joy, resistance — all is welcome into the collective to be witnessed and accompanied as we have each other's back.

HOW WE GATHER

We gather together in community in a non judgemental open space of witness, being with and honoring. Ritual is the container big enough to hold the magnitude of our losses and well as the magnificence of our love and praise. We gather in a participatory way, meaning that whether or not it is your time to shed tears, every one has a part and a place and is essential to the whole.

Throughout you’ll be encouraged to move at your own rhythm. At any point, you’re welcome to step back, rest, or simply listen, always trusting what feels right for your body and heart.

WHAT TO EXPECT THROUGHOUT THE DAY

We invite you to arrive at 9am to have ample time to get tea and settle in to begin together at 9:30am.

MORNING

We will open our time together with song, poetry, a grounding meditation and orientation.

>> Journaling via writing prompts + Reflection

>> Small and large group sharing

>> Grief and the lineage of this ritual

LUNCH

We will have a break for lunch. We suggest bringing a lunch so you have time to wander and be leisurely, but there are some nearby places to get food if you wish to do that.

AFTERNOON

This is our time to be in ritual space. The ritual is held with singing, drumming and rhythm, creating a grief altar - a place to bring our grief, honoring what we love, and hopefully finding our way into the feeling of coherence and collective care.

We will close our time with an integration circle.

ABOUT THE GRIEF RITUAL

This ritual is inspired by the Dagara people of West Africa, and we would not be doing this work without being impacted by the work of Sobonfu Some and Malidome Some. With great thanks to Sharon Tollefson of Wilderness Youth Project for first hosting Sobonfu in Santa Barbara many years ago.

We also recognize the Chumash people, on whose land we gather, and all of our ancestral traditional rites and condolence ceremonies from around the world. Alexis has had the great fortune to work with Sobonfu Some, Malidoma Some, and Francis Weller, as well as training in related grief work with Joanna Macy (Despair and Empowerment/The Work that Reconnects), Deena Metzger (Grief into Vision), Martin Prechtel (Grief and Praise) and other important mentors and teachers.

RITUAL SUPPORT TEAM

Alexis Slutzky, MA, is a mentor, guide and educator working at the confluence of healing and social change. With a stellar team of support, she has been convening grief rituals, groups & talks for the past eight years. www.alexisslutzky.com

Elisabeth Gonella is a seasoned psychotherapist, a clinical supervisor, professor at Pacifica Graduate Institute and has training in community singing with the Canadian Ubuntu Choir network. https://www.elisabethgonella.com

Kolmi Majumdar, MA is a grief and bereavement counselor in Santa Barbara.

Rene Tonalli is a writer, facilitator, and Somatic Practitioner born in Goleta. Since 2012, she has supported Indigenous-led conservation efforts. As a mother, much of her learning continues through the land she tends and the daughter she’s raising. https://www.renetonalli.com

and Others TBA

COST

Suggested Sliding Scale Donation: > $30 - $100 <. There is no set fee and no one is turned away for lack of funds, and funds are not turned away!. Please give what you can.

We intend to cover the costs with this approach, which includes paying for the venue rental and staff ($700), administration, insurance, materials and supplies, organizing. And if there is an abundance, your generosity will support continuing the accessibilty of this work, including a proceed to Dagara elders in Burkino Faso. Thank you so much.

Photo Credit: Christine Gonzales

“Coming home to grief is sacred work. a powerful practice that confirms what the indigenous soul knows and what spiritual traditions teach: we are connected to one another. Our fates are bound together in a mysterious but recognizable way. Grief registers the many ways this kinship is assaulted daily. Grief becomes a core element in any peace making practice, as it is a central means whereby our compassion is quickened, our mutual suffering is acknowledged.”

— Francis Weller